Saturday, June 22, 2019

Lesson from my 8yr old: Circle of Cry

My little one is tough nut. She keeps her emotions to herself. Even if she gets physically hurt, she likes to keep her pain in-bound.
As parents, since the time we knew this behavior, we have been constantly trying to have a conversation with her to ensure she lets her feeling out.
Lately, my little one found a friend in the community. This "friend" knocks on the door and asks her to come and play. Seems, this new "friend" only calls her and many other friends, if she does not find anyone else to play. She makes the same "come out to play" calls to other "friends" in the community, but then once they come to play, she does not play with them. It is more like "be around me", but I will not play with you.
One of these days, my little one came home and said, Dad, I cried today. For her to say that she cried, made me jump up to listen her next sentences. I asked her "why did you cry? Are you hurt? " She said No. Today, I and other friends in the community sat down in a "circle of crying" with this "come out and play" friend. We told her that she is hurting our feelings by calling us and not playing with us !
I asked - so what was her reaction? My little one said, she mentioned that she was not aware that her behavior was causing so much grief. Once she heard our concern, she also started crying. It is all sorted out now !
I thought for a second, you guys sorted this big issue among yourself by sitting in a "circle of cry"
As a parent, I learned something new. If it takes a "circle of cry" to let emotions out of your child, why not? Maybe we will let out other feelings that might be suppressed in some other corner of our brain or heart !
What an amazing and simple solution to a real complex issue. We all feel emotions and get hurt by behavior of others. If these mutual grudges can be solved by "sitting in a circle and letting it out", life would become so simple !
Thank you little one ! 

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