Oct 2010.
YES !!! Meri Jaan, I completed one year back home. Its time to reflect on some of my thoughts post the BIG R2I move from US to India !! (In case u dint know: R2I - Return to India)
As I drove to work today, I remembered the sprawling skyscrapers, the Hudson Bay, the New York skyline and the sunny sailing day! A vista view embedded in my eyes because that was where I worked for quite a few years.
Like many of us who went to the US in the late 90s, I probably never envisioned that I would spend so many years of my life in that part of the world.
While I really enjoyed those times and will cherish those moments for the rest of my life, today, I look back on how things felt versus how they feel and reflect in different perspectives & scenarios.
Looking back at those times, US was a techie’s dream. My early years in the US were some strong formation years, both on the career and personal front.
While career was always very important as a whole, a wholesome life called for a life partner.
I still remember sitting at RockerFeller center and I could feel my heart slipping away to the person sitting across. This person had an impressive charm, she had the prettiest smile, and yes, she could talk non-stop !
Opposites attract, and post that day, I could not find my heart !!!
Meri Jaan, moving from away my soul-curry, I think most of us would agree that initial years in the US are tough and a little lonely for all, and if you are at that age looking for companionship, you will meet your soulmate and then together you form the mutual front towards achieving that American dream;
But some pieces of life are much different; No one envisions the immense distances, commuting for hours, little public transport, credit history, insurances, immigration laws and complexity of simple chores, food and needs that we don’t have to think twice about back home.
Most importantly there is always an inherent and internal loneliness to life and the day-to-day struggle for survival can sometimes be brutal, initially. Life as perceived and as experienced can be very different in the US.
Post a few years in the US, life starts to take shape. You progress through work, education, move from simple rentals, to lavish homes and apartments. Everything is Happy!
But, like they say, “Happiness is a very relative term. What could seem happy to you may be really un-happy for someone or it could be vice-versa.”
Now, let’s cut to today! I re-located to Pune, India last year. Today, as I remembered those Hudson Bay vista images, I thought to myself about what had changed between my life there and here!
There is no denying the brilliant Infrastructure, the roads, the law and the law abidance, the concept of moral lawfulness; the cleanliness, the environment, and the small gestures of please/ sorry and holding the doors with a smile.
I miss never having to worry about gas, electricity, water, power voltage, and power cuts, phone being dead, Internet down. I miss the basic traffic and driving sense, overall, I miss the basic ease of things !
Whackjobs, nuts and psychos are everywhere, but I really miss the basic culture of been civic and accountable for your behaviour at work and in public.
Most Importantly, I miss all my friends, social get-togethers, invitation politics and all our efforts to recreate a mini India in pardes! I really miss all those wonderful calls on EBC Radio;
That really seems like a whole different world and thanks for sharing your life events, thoughts and beliefs with me. I sincerely thank you for all the ongoing communication, responses and blog following.
Well, moving on, I do feel that after spending a huge chunk of your life in those lands, I think, the living space has been a MAJOR shift. But then, what I have been observing is that most of the new developments and communities this side also have great places and amenities to offer.
Real Estate providers are providing exactly the same kind and much better options of apartments, duplexes, pent houses and twin bungalows, row houses, as are available in the US, UK or Australia (minus the neighborhoods ofcourse :), but you can even have a swimming pool, a playground with huge terraces, and car parking area in your own apartment, if you can afford it!
So, things have changed a lot with the reverse brain-drain, and builders this side want to give you the best of that world - but, it comes with a price !!
A very positive change that I have noticed is on the work front; If I look and compare my primary work, it is still global; and so is the work environment and team mates. Work flexibility, time offs, and basic work attitudes have changed.
Some things are pretty much similar, while I sat in this office overlooking the Hudson Bay for so many years, today, I sit alongside a window looking at the mountains in Pune.
If traffic jams and people spawned those NYC streets, nothing is much different at this end too. Actually on the better side, the distances to and from work have reduced drastically.
If I could walk to the corner for a local deli, a Mac-snack, or a Pizza, it is pretty much the same around here. The Deli is now a Tapri and the Large Coke is now a cutting chai !
Some differences do need to be taken in humor; like, if sailboats and ocean liners razed those bays and seas, I now see cows and buffalo’s grazing the mountain greens and roads.
If HOV lanes were reserved for 3 people or more, here, one lane is permanently reserved for cows, buffaloes or basic non-functional vehicle parking :)
But, moving on to the most important pieces in life: Friends and Family, OH!!! No comparison ! Abundance is thy name in India. The whole perspective of family, friends, festivals and relationships changes once you start living in India.
It’s like you suddenly move from the loneliness of life to the abundance of it (sometimes too much :)
The most wonderful part is there is so much happening around you all the time, that you really do not need that **myspace** time.
So, if work is the same, and living space is a bit of adjustment, the happiness of being with friends and family is beyond any comparison in India.
If I extend the feelings to my 4 yr old kid, well, she is enjoying every moment. My lil one can rush around to the neighbour’s house without a **playdate** appointment, or me worrying about her **safety**.
She can still play down in the complex without supervision and post her dinner. Also, as a result of the cosmo-crowd, she has actually learned 4 languages in the last 6 months. Plus she still gets to see all her favourite programs on TV (Disney, Nick, Dora and likes plus many more).
Meri Jaan, no one can control destiny of a person, but I always feel that 4-14 years of a person's life form the basic upbringing format of attitude and vision for life, and I hope, I can build a very positive format for my kid.
Family and relationships are the core fiber for life, and above everything, the happiness of been able to visit or be visited by Grandma’s, Grandpa’s, uncles, aunts, cousins and enjoy their company anytime lays the foundation of basic social format for any individual. I think that is brilliant in "des" !!
If I talk about my RockerFeller mate that became my checkmate, she is all set to never set her foot in the kitchen again!
No Dishwasher, No Weekend chores - thank God for the house help! Cleaning, Washing, Drying, Folding, Grocery Shopping, Cooking, Even Driving – she needs to do none of the above, if she does not want to!
Meri Jaan, THIS IS THE REAL PRIVILEGE LOBBY!
Sometimes, it really makes me think if that $ollar comes down, would you still be there?? If you can make around 2-3L a month, tell me honestly, is life not much wholesome in "Swades" ??
Well, there is no denying on so many things and areas where "Apna Des" is still galaxies behind these much newer and developed nations. Day to Day struggle can be a nightmare sometimes and the bureaucracy and legal formalities can be abolutely PROPOSTEROUS !!!!
Honestly, though there have been lots of improvement in India in the last 10 years, but our core societal fibre will take decades to change, and that’s a big killer.
We can have BMWs and Mercs spawning the roads, but we cannot maintain basic lanes systems! We can have skylounges and Huge penthouses, LEDs and Multi-Sim phones, but we cant provide basic 24hr water and electricity.
We can portray the best of our tourism, but we cannot prevent those crimes and rogues on the streets. We can talk about Tiger savings and wildlife tourism, but we cannot keep dogs, cows, buffalo’s and goats off our roads.
So, you might ask, has it been a good or a tormenting one year??
Meri Jaan, let’s say if I survived a WHOLE YEAR, it cannot be that bad !!!
Also, lets not go into comparing the individual attributes, because whatever said and done, I seriously believe life has its pro-s and cons in every part of the world.
I am in my late 30s, and I have stayed 22+ years of those 35 years abroad, I do feel that overall - life is much much happier and wholesome in India; but thats because of my experiences in life, my personal values of family & relationships, my enjoyment of events, functions, marriages, my upbringing with my cousins, siblings, my parents and my upbringing format, the same may not apply to you !!!!
So, let’s just say, when today some of my friends ask me if I feel happy or sad retuning to India after so many years, I always say, Pune or Princeton, Hinjewadi or Hudson, “Happiness is a very relative term. What could seem un-happy to you may be really happy for me or it could be vice-versa" :)
Meri Jaan, so till we meet next time, Stay Safe, Stay Happy and Stay in Loeve !!!
- Pankaj
